Resolving 'cliff'

Jan. 03, 2013 @ 05:43 AM

Now that we have, at least temporarily, averted the "fiscal cliff" that has made headlines around the world, we figured now would be a good time to make an editorial change.

Don't be alarmed, the editorial change is not one of principle or of leaning, but more of the grammatical.

Needless to say, over the last few months, we have been inundated with the term "fiscal cliff" and it has even become a more common part of our lexicon.

Therefore, we wish to propose the following change:

 

RESOLUTION OPPOSING THE CONTINUING MISUSE OF THE WORD "CLIFF"

WHEREAS, journalists across the country and around the globe are flagrantly and callously overusing, misusing and otherwise abusing the word "cliff" to describe the nation's fiscal crisis;

 

WHEREAS, the general public having been seduced, hypnotized and otherwise duped by said journalists are innocently and without malice also using the word "cliff" to describe the nation's fiscal crisis;

 

WHEREAS, such overuse, misuse and abuse of the word "cliff", whether intentional or unintentional, to describe something as hideous and evil as our nation's fiscal woes dishonors and is otherwise disrespectful to any person named Cliff or Clifford;

 

WHEREAS, those persons who through no fault of their own have already suffered great misfortune by being named by their mothers after a character in a Depression era radio soap opera; and

 

WHEREAS, said persons named Cliff and Clifford have long endured taunts from schoolyard bullies shouting "Cliff, drop over sometime" and have been associated with a Big Red Dog deserve not to suffer any more ridicule.

 

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Daily Courier Editorial Board, meeting in official session on January 2nd, in the Year of our Lord 2013, that:

 

1. The Daily Courier, being a bastion of journalistic excellence and integrity, shall henceforth and for evermore cease using the word "cliff" to describe our nation's fiscal crisis or any other evil; and

 

2. The Daily Courier will instead chose to use such words as precipice, rocky height, bluff, bank, embankment, escarp, escarpment, scarp, crag or scar to describe nasty things.

 

Of course, all of this might change as Congress prepares to take up part of the issue in the coming months.

But, we feel, this will work for now.

By Matthew Clark, for the Editorial Board

 

The Daily Courier Editorial Board consists of community members Jerry Brewer, Kyle Bingham, Tom Padgett, Dr. Shermaine Surratt and Cliff Strassenburg as well as Editor Matthew Clark